Success!
by MS-Manuscript
Summary: “This’ll work this time, right Doc?” "Sure Moist! I'm an evil genius mad scientist after all." "Yeah, that's what scares me." Not all endeavors work all the time.
1. Blue

Characters belong to Joss Whedon, Jed Whedon, Zack Whedon, and Maurissa Tancharoen. Not me. Story line does though

* * *

"This'll work this time, right?" Moist glanced at the straps around his wrists, really sweating at the moment. Not that anyone would be able to tell, no. But he was sure his friend could anyway. Billy was behind a really really big gun, looking smaller than he already was (ironic really, as he was about six foot. Calling him small, uh-huh.), punching buttons on the control panel like mad. "You know, I won't turn, you know, like, blue or anything. Will I Doc?"

"No no, you're fine. It'll work."

"Uh-huh."

"Look, last time was an accident, okay? It's not like I could predict that the earthquake would come. Not like I shook up the peanut oil on purpose you know."

"I know, I know. But, well."

"Moist." Moist looked up from the shackles, hazel eyes meeting silver blue. Fear meeting trust and confidence. "It'll work." Billy was so sure this time. He was so 100% that it would work. Moist wanted it to work; not for his sake, but for Billy's.

"Alright Doc, ready when you are." A small smile and Moist knew that he was truly ready. So long as he didn't turn blue again…

Billy grinned and ducked behind the huge ray that took up the whole lab. Moist had to be crazy. He had to be out of his mind. He had been this guy's henchman for two years. Two very long years. He knew how often Billy's things worked…

Or didn't work.

But Billy was so bent and determined on this one, saying it would his greatest ever, that this ray gun would solve everything. Moist had to be insane to let him use it. But it's what Billy wanted. And he was his henchman.

"Can we at least un-do the leather straps! I feel like I'm on the Green Mile or something."

"Nah!" Dr. Horrible shouted back, peering over the top of the humongous _thing_ that Billy had created. "It might hit a little hard, and the last thing I want to do is send you through the wall."

"Gee, real comforting." Moist muttered, watching the white hot beam boil and coil at the tip of the gun.

"Shield your eyes!" Moist did as he was told. Next thing he knew the hot tip of the light hit his chest and he understood what Billy meant. That thing hit _hard_!

And just like that, it was over. Or, so Moist thought. He couldn't help but think that there had to be more. He was right, because Billy woke him up about five minutes after turning the gun on.

"Dude, dude! You okay? Wake up Moist, comeon, wake up!"

"Huh?"

"Dude, really! Don't scare me like that! I thought I had put too much juice in it or something."

"Told you to lay off the oranges. Did it work?"

"Well, how do you feel?" Billy undid the leather restraints and helped Moist up. Patting himself down, the henchman stripped out of his damp clothes and into the dry pile that was waiting for him. They didn't last long. Moments later, the familiar wet-spot on his back appeared.

"Didn't work."

"Balls. I'm sorry Moist! I really am! I thought this would work this time. I know you want to stop being all… um… moist and stuff."

"It's fine Doc, you tried. Come on, I know this restaurant that serves veggie curry. My treat."

"I'll get it one day. I swear it."

"I know Doc, I know."


	2. Pause

Moist really needed to get his head checked. He was strapped to the chair again. Why Billy thought the straps were necessary Moist would never know. Maybe it made him feel evil or something. Either way, it was kind of grating on Moist's nerves. No, really, they were pinching a nerve on his left arm and it was really bothering him.

"Doc?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you loosen this one, it kinda hurts."

"What?" Billy looked up from his new ray, goggles over his face again. Those thing always sent a shiver down Moist's back. He knew it was for safety, after all blinding the mad scientist would be a bad thing. But still, they made him look…

Well…

Evil.

Moist never thought of Billy as evil, just crazy. A mess-maker. Anti-hero. But not evil. No matter how hard Billy tried, he never quite fit the bill.

"My wrist, it hurts."

"Oh!" Jumping out of his seat the villain-wanna-be (though L.A. found him to be full-fledged) loosened the leather restraint, checking Moist's pulse and reflexes.

"Dude, you haven't done anything yet, it's still the same."

"I know, just checking on you. You ready?"

"Sure, what's this thing do?"

"It's a death ray!"

"_**WHAT?!**_" Moist struggled to get out of the chair. Billy doubled over, laughing so hard that when he took his goggles off there were tears in his eyes.

"I'm kidding Moist I'm kidding! It's not a death ray! I'd never make a death ray, you know that. Killing's stupid."

"Then don't say it is!" Moist deflated into the seat again, heart pounding. Billy knelt down, putting a hand on his friend's knee.

"Moist, I'd never do that. I would never test a death ray out on you. Or anyone. I don't test my rayguns on you until I know for sure they won't kill you. I'd rather have the plant explode and kill me than point anything that could murder you at you." He patted the damp knee before standing and grabbing up his gun, taking a stance behind the tape-line on the floor.

"Ready?!"

"You're _sure_ this won't kill me?"

"Eighty percent!" And the blue/green beam fired. Moist closed his eyes, feeling the strangest weightless sensation overcome him.

"Did it work?!" Moist opened his eyes when Billy asked him if it worked. How on earth was he to know?! Billy hadn't even told him what it was supposed to do!

"Dang." Billy "swore," kneeling down by Moist again. "You opened your eyes, didn't work."

Moist's heart rate skyrocketed again. His eyes opened?! Were they not supposed to?

"How do you feel?"

"Uhh, by bouth ib bubd." Huh?

"Huh?"

"By bouth ib bubd."

"Oh! Idea!" Billy ran off, leaving Moist to hope for a pencil and paper. Sadly, he came back with his phone. After digging though Moist's pockets, grabbing his wallet, and flipping through, Billy dialed a number and waited for a voice at the end.

"Hello, is Dr. Molhair around?" Pause. If Moist had his hands, he would have facepalmed right then and there. His _dentist_?! Billy called his DENTIST to try and figure out what he was saying?! Good god.

"Hey Doc, Moist is talking a bit funny, can you understand him? You deal with that stuff all the time. Uh-huh, right. Okay, here." He held up the phone.

"Box, Ib bonah dill ya, by bouth ib bubd."

"Got that?" Billy put the phone to his ear. Then his grin dropped and his face paled. "Oh, okay. Um, thank you Doctor Molhair."

Click.

"Your mouth is numb? Why didn't you tell me?! Great, freeze ray needs work." Billy stood, tramping over to his gun (which would get larger as time went on) and started to take it apart. Moist, still stuck to the chair, glared at him.

"EHBLOO! Heg be oub oo dib gair!"


End file.
